Getting your Relationship Back on Track When the Spark is Gone Won’t be Easy

by Johanna Sparrow
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The excitement in your relationship is gone, you know it’s going to take a hands-on approach to get it back.

The feeling of being in love doesn’t last forever for many people. Many relationships are full of roadblocks plagued by past issues and insecurities.  Your relationship should be growing, not losing its spark after a bump or two in the road.  Are you adding to the stress in your relationship?  Do you know what you want from your partner? This is not the time to shut down. Whatever is causing you to feel your relationship is stuck now is the time to communicate those feelings to your partner.
The honeymoon stage for any new relationship ends around the six- or eight-month mark, so looking to the next level can be stressful for one if not both of you.  Could you be noticing things about your partner you don’t like?  If this is the case, you really need to get out of your head and check on your relationship, start talking.  Give your partner the opportunity he-or-she needs to explain how they are feeling.
Every relationship has its ups and downs, highs and lows, so this is not the time to give up.  If you aren’t spending as much time together, now is the time to do so.  Use that time to work on your relationship starting with communicating your thoughts and feelings.
It’s clear there is a battle happening and it’s up to you to find out what the heck is going on and why in order to save your relationship.  I am not saying the responsibility of the relationship working falls only on your shoulders, no that’s not the case, but someone must take the lead.  Getting your relationship back on track will not be easy, so be prepared to pull up your sleeves and put in the work.

A Successful relationship takes work 

Having a successful relationship is not achieved by pointing fingers at the other person.  That way of behaving is clearly not going to make things better, only worse.  You mention things have been stressful lately or over the past few days, weeks or months and that stress has taken a toll on your relationship. What is wrong?  Find out if the stress in your life is within or without.  Things happening in your home may take you handling them with a different approach. When something stresses you outside of your home try not to take it out on your relationship.
If you are in a position to take some time off from work, do so.   Nothing happens overnight. Getting to the bottle of what is causing the spark to be out of your relationship should be the goal.

Below is a list of ways to get that old spark back in your relationship:  

  • Make time for your partner.
  • Kiss longer and deeper, you know like you did when you first met.
  • Have the same attitude and excitement you did when you first met and started dating again.
  • Flirt throughout the day, via text and email. Just be playful.
  • Don’t be afraid to try or do new things together.
  • Try something different in the bedroom.
  • Listen to what your partner is saying.
  • Share your feelings and not just the bad, but those good feelings.
  • Learn to laugh more with each other.
  • Complement each other and mean it.
  • Spend less time around people who are unhappy.
  • Have a picnic in the middle of your bedroom floor.
  • Give a full body massage to each other.
  • Show small displays of affection like kissing or holding hands.


The more you do to recapture the flame in your relationship, the stronger your relationship will be in all areas including in the bedroom.  It’s not uncommon for you to not always be in the mood for your partner, but you must work to avoid this since it can only dissolve your relationship.  What works for other relationships may not work for you or it may, step out of the box in your relationship by loving and nurturing your partner the way you want to be loved and nurtured.  Sometimes teaching your partner what you want and like may have a lot to do with showing them rather than telling them.  A healthy relationship is based on listening, communication, respect and loyalty.   It’s time to give your relationship a little tender loving care!

Johanna Sparrow

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