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Visiting tips with elderly friends and family members.
Jeff and I have four parents, living in four different residences. His parents are 89 years old; mine are 93. Grandma lives a high-quality, independent life. Our dads deal with Alzheimer’s or Lewy Body Dementia. My mom’s diagnosis read: “Failure to thrive; prognosis: Poor.” One year later, she’s still here. Should it be called, “Undecided thriving…?”
In any case, quality visits call for creative approaches.
Talking is exhausting
Mom’s hearing aids don’t help much, causing us all conversation fatigue!
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Lip-reading or yelling
not at her, but TO her) works, except noise annoys others (and my brain).
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Write, don’t yell
Use whiteboard or paper.
Use brief sentences.
Make eye contact.
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Sit close, if vision is poor, or even if it isn’t.
TraveLaundry:
Staff and residents are used to me bringing baskets of clean, unfolded laundry
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I fold, she watches.
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She folds socks, but only if they match. (Bonus: gentle hand exercise.)
Small towels
Buy additional socks, separate, toss in and pretend they’re clean laundry. You probably need some new socks anyway.
Activity-time visits:
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Mealtimes:
Help with feeding, setting table, serving or clearing.
Allows for communication (with others tablemates, too.)
Bring treats
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Edibles: favorite snacks, entrees, drinks or sweets IF PERMISSABLE.
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Puppies and babies: again, honor the rules. Know your pet. The only time we see mom emote is when either of the above visit.
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Bring a friend
Just be there.
Mom’s not curious about our lives anymore; Dad doesn’t know us.
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View TV/photos. (We avoid TV news, opting for lighter programs.)
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Music or touch still reach Dad’s soul, even with Alzheimers’s. Pandora’s our buddy.
Good luck & Good visiting!
Bobbe White is a Certified Laughter Leader, (seriously) with the World Laughter Tour, Inc. She incorporates humor and laughter to improve overall performance and has been featured in the New York Times, Newsweek Japan, Family Circle, TV Tokyo and Re-Diff/India. She’s authored two books and co-authored three. Whether it’s team building, customer care, wellness, eldercare or stress management, Bobbe empowers others to a new level of confidence!
White’s work history includes 37 years as an officer with Backlund Investment Company, a community bank group. Initially, she was the swim pr at Arnold Palmer’s Bay Hill Club, Orlando. (It’s like a golf pro, but with more water.) Bobbe divides her energy among banking, speaking, and writing, her aging husband, aging children, aging parents and aging food in the fridge. Constantly a victim of life's twists and turns at work or home; she utilizes humor to combat daily stressors. When that doesn't work, she writes, visits the gym or her aging, but therapeutic tool, Lily White, the black Lab.
“Her message? Significant!” Her delivery? Pure energy!” On-Air Media.
White’s work history includes 37 years as an officer with Backlund Investment Company, a community bank group. Initially, she was the swim pr at Arnold Palmer’s Bay Hill Club, Orlando. (It’s like a golf pro, but with more water.) Bobbe divides her energy among banking, speaking, and writing, her aging husband, aging children, aging parents and aging food in the fridge. Constantly a victim of life's twists and turns at work or home; she utilizes humor to combat daily stressors. When that doesn't work, she writes, visits the gym or her aging, but therapeutic tool, Lily White, the black Lab.
“Her message? Significant!” Her delivery? Pure energy!” On-Air Media.
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