Bloom in Adversity

by Carol Sabel Blodgett
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Finding yourself in a place you wish you’d never fallen into is common enough. Staying there is unacceptable.

No one wants to live in a depressing situation or a dangerous place, but sometimes we end up there just by mere circumstance. It’s easy for people to tell you to just leave or I wouldn’t stand for that, but none of that is helpful, most of the times it’s not plausible.

Who can just pick up and leave their life? Not me, not many people I know, but if you know you’re somewhere that you’ll not thrive, somewhere that life will just continue to get harder and more unpleasant, find a way. That’s not to say anyone should stay in a dangerous situation; don’t. Leave. There’s help out there for that, but if you’re struggling to maintain a relationship, friendship, or partnership, you can’t be the only one doing the work. It’s okay to cut toxic people out of your life. It’s okay to protect your mental health.

No one likes to give up on something that you’ve put your heart and soul into, but if you’re in it alone, putting your all into it with no help or support, the only person suffering is you. It’s hard to be alone, but it’s better than having the life sucked out of you. Everything hurts when you aren’t valued. Some people just don’t know how to value you, or themselves. Since you can’t change them, change you. Make a plan in your mind to do more, to be more, and more will come. You are the only one who can save you. We expect people who care about us to step up, but more often than not, they don’t. They let us down.

And that’s just the way it is.

Become responsible for your life and happiness. Make your plan. Tell the truth about what you want and accept nothing less. It’s hard to take care of ourselves because it feels selfish. It feels wrong sometimes, but self-love, self-care are vital in this thing called life.

We’re capable of great things; let’s become the owners of our own happiness. Spouses, children, and friends are wonderful and are truly the things that dreams are made of, but if you need more, if you feel lost and desperate, tell the truth about why.

Oftentimes, we’re unfulfilled to the point of depression. Friends and family can unintentionally, (sometimes intentionally) discourage us, through their own fear of our failure, the pain of their actual failures, or that sick feeling that we might actually succeed.

Do it anyway. Listen to your voice and no one else’s. I’d rather be wrong all on my own than give my opinion or will over to someone else.

For any reason.

People out there in the world are as afraid of success as they are of failure. If I succeed, I have to change. I have to rise to the occasion and that’s frightening, but failure, well, failure lets us stay where we’re comfortable, where we know the score, and nothing more is expected of us.

Don’t stay there. Don’t even consider it. Push through your fear and welcome your advancement with open arms, promising to teach yourself later all you need to know about being a prosperous person. Ignore the doubt and go forward into your dreams.

Don’t let people with no dreams spoil yours.

Positive thinking about your own being, your own situation, is something we’ve forgotten to do. We take care of accounts at work, children at home, spouses, parents, everyone but us.

We try so hard to be all that we can be that we don’t appreciate today for the gift that it is. We’re too busy worrying about the report that’s due tomorrow, or the term paper, or the electric bill.

You’ll find if you take just a few minutes to tell yourself that it’s okay, you’re going to be perfectly fine, and that things will work themselves out, they will. They always do. Stop losing your joy by thinking that you don’t deserve it. You do.

You deserve peace and love, you deserve life and success. Hard work never killed anyone and in the end, you’re better for it, but you must put things in perspective. You need to do more than work and pay bills. You need to laugh and read, you need to sit in the quiet places and listen to all the life that surrounds you. You need to eat it up and go back for seconds. You need to save your own life in this rat race we all find ourselves in. We need to work, but we need to remember to play, too.

Miserable people have forgotten what happiness is. They feel that it’s eluded them; they wallow in their pain rather than learning from it.

Don’t like being sad? Find something to counter it. Don’t like being overweight? Take control. Don’t like being used? Stop being available.

All is within your reach, all is possible. Nothing is easy, but everything is at your fingertips.

Debt chokes us all at some point, and then we get out of it. Hard work is a recurring theme in life. Labor for it, be patient, be grateful, and watch your situation change. Accountability gets a bad rap, but it’s one of the greatest things we have in our lives. It puts us in the driver’s seat of our circumstances. It lets us decide, but we have to be brave enough to look it in the face and hear what it tells us.

Stop living in pain and misery. Start blooming where you stand. Your journey is different than anyone else’s. Only you can find the path and walk it. Only you can know your dreams and your passions and pursue them. Only you can fix what’s broken, right what’s wrong, and love your life as only the one in the middle of it can.

Only you. Surround yourself with good people; don’t be afraid to distance yourself from the ones who suck the love out of life and bring you down into the void of despair. It’s not mean, it’s not cruel, it’s your survival, and you are solely responsible for it.

Carol Sabel Blodgett
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